a letter to christmas

Dear Christmas,

Now, I'm no Scrooge. I'll happily give to the poor, buy people things they don't need, and stick a huge smile on my face when little kids talk about St. Nicholas. But, Christmas, here's the thing: I don't care. I don't care about how Christmas is the time for "family" and "forgiveness" and "mince pies". Damn you, that is stuff that should be an all-year thing, and how the hell do you have a monopoly on it? Christmas, quite frankly, is the time for a holiday...and that is all, so stop pretending to be something you're not.

It's the end of the year, Christmas. I've had a tough year with people breaking bones, people dying, people crying, more work than I can possible handle, incredible stress, markets failing & flailing, debt, my parents being annoying, ending up single, a bad haircut... whatever. It's a been a whole year already and I'm ready for some downtime. Time off. To breathe, to recuperate, to get my shit together for the maelstrom that will be next year. Time for a holiday. And that is what your purpose in life is supposed to be.

I don't want to spend the last of my depleted energy and money and patience on sitting around in parties and being forced to attend Christmas dinners with a hodgepodge of people in uncomfortable shoes and a dress that's tight in all the wrong places. I don't want to validate some stupid idea of Christmas having to be about snow, hot chocolate and Rudolph. I don't want to put up fake trees and decorate the crap out of them and send my electricity bill sky high. Sure, it's pretty...but it's not something I care about. If other people want to do it, good for them. Don't make me suffer through it too.

I'm an atheist. I don't care about Christmas carols. I don't care about Baby Jesus. None of this has anything to do with me. So tell me, Christmas, why do I find myself in the middle of planning a Christmas Dinner for people who apparently do care about Christmas... but haven't any family to spend it with? Why, Christmas, does it fall on my uncaring shoulders?

Christmas, I don't want to go to some stupid Christmas dinner and cook and slave in a hot kitchen for people I don't know all that well. I want to lie in bed and watch stupid TV shows instead. I'm happy to stick presents under a tree and have people squeal with delight over them. Or pretend to. Whatever.

I'm not happy to waste the last few days of 2010 doing more crap I don't want to do so that somebody else is happy. I don't want to laugh at stupid Christmas jokes, or smile politely at suddenly religious people. I don't want to wear a dress and shoes and care about how I look. I don't want to watch Miracle on 34th Street for the millionth time. Or y'know, any other damn Christmas movie- except maybe Land Before Time. But guess what, Christmas, I'm stuck doing all this crap and more.

Next year, you'd better leave me alone. It can be my Christmas present. Also? Pass the mince pie.

Unhappily planning Christmas,
Someone who doesn't care about Christmas